Boyfriend keeps taking breaks from me

hayleylee — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 20:01:46 GMT

I am having problems in my 7 year realtionship.We don't go out as a couple due to jealousy issues. last yr my partner ran off from me for 2 months wen i was pregnant.he came back when I miscarried. he is almost 30,he works but lives with his parenst,and they dislike me.It is the point where I pay for everything,and he spends his wages drinking with his mates (his best mate is gay) or gambling.I now have my own place and he refuses to move in,he says coz I got some state benefits to help pay it,and he is above that.last saturday we brought friends around,my guy got drunk showed them my benefits letters,and sais he was in love with a gil from work.if she dated him I was history.he then smashed some of my furniture.my mum called his mum about the damages.now his family said next time he is with me they will disown him-I haven't seen him in a week now.he spands alot of time hanging out with his mate who is apparently gay.the more I call him,the more he tells me to piss off...I am hurting coz I love him.help???

RE: Boyfriend keeps taking breaks from me

Debi — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 20:15:49 GMT

he sounds like a jerk to me and not worth the love you are wasting on him. he doesnt treat you with respect like you deserve... time to move on.

RE: Boyfriend keeps taking breaks from me

unclebob — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 20:33:51 GMT

HI! HE IS PROBABLY HIDDING THE FACT THAT MAYBE HE IS GAY, FROM YOU AND HIS FAMILY. I ONCE WENT THROUGH A TIME WHEN MY FRIEND WAS GOING BETWEEN ME AND ANOTHER GIRL, SHE WAS THERE FIRST, BUT HE LIED ABOUT HAVING A GIRLFRIEND. BY THE TIME I FOUND OUT THAT THE GIRL WAS ACTUALLY HIS GIRLFRIEND, IT WAS TOO LATE FOR ME TO GIVE UP. I WENT THROUGH MISCARRIAGE AND GRIEF JUST AS YOU HAVE. I FOUND IT BEST TO LET GO AND MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE. I GOT AN EXTRA JOB TO HELP WITH LETTING GO. JUST AS SOON AS I WAS GETTING ON WITH MY LIFE, HERE HE COMES, WANTING BACK IN. I DID LET HIM BACK IN, BUT, I WAS MORE CAREFUL AND MORE DEMANDING OF MY FEELINGS. IT WORKED! I WAS MORE OF A FIGHTER. I GAVE HIM AN OPTION, GET IT RIGHT OR LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE! LOVE YOU OR NOT, I HAVE MYSELF TO THINK ABOUT. I GUESS I KNEW THAT HE LOVED ME BUT WAS STUCK ON SOME DUMB JUNK. WE GOT MARRIED, AND HAVE A GIRL. DO NOT SIT AT HOME AND CRY. GET OUT AND DO EXCITING THINGS. DONT GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION OF SEEING YOU DEPRESSED,RED EYES FROM CRYING, ETC. LET HIM KEEP DOING THE CRAP HE DOES. DRESS YOUR SELF UP ON A DAILY BASIS, PUT ON YOUR LIPSTICK, AND HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH. OH, AND IF YOU SEE MOM AND DAD, DONT BE UGLY, SAY HELLO IN THE MOST UP BEAT WAY. YOU NEVER WANT TO DISRESPECT ANY ONES PARENTS. IF HE LOVES YOU HE WILL RETURN, IF NOT KEEP ON STEPPING CAUSE THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE THAT IS LOOKING TO FIT IN WHERE HE PROVIDED SPACE. AND, DONT BE MEAN TO HIM IF YOU GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE, SAY HELLO, CAUSE IF YOU DONT, THAT ONLY LETS HIM KNOW THAT YOU STILL WANT HIM. IF YOU ARE LIKE ME, IT NEVER HURTS TO BE A PRIVATE EYE TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU ALREADY SUSPECT. ITS ALL ABOUT YOUR HAPPINESS! BELIVE ME, I KNOW.

RE: Boyfriend keeps taking breaks from me

Celeste — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 20:34:33 GMT

They say love is blind, and sorry but you certainly are because reality is hitting you right in the face. The guy is a jerk, a user, a loser and just uses you for amusement. For God's sake...think about yourself and care about yourself enough to get out of this relationship that will go no where EVER. He says your benefits are beneath him...but he is the loser, drunk, etc. The first sign was when he left when you were pregnant...he will never stand by you. Anyone who tells people "in front of you" that he wants to date another woman does not respect you.

Respect yourself and get on with your life. It is too precious to waste on someone like him. You need to go to counseling to find out why you devalue yourself so much and then fix that first...then the world is an open book to learning new things, meeting new people, etc., but do not be taken in by his using ways because no matter what, he will never love you and knows that he can use you as long as you allow him. Did you read that ...as long AS YOU ALLOW him too. Take your life back and make it better. sorry to be so blunt, but someone has too and do you really think this is the right forum to air your personal problems...go find a counselor or a true friend who can help you. Good luck!

RE: Boyfriend keeps taking breaks from me

Elden — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 20:58:38 GMT

Your just stupid. No woman with half a brain would do this.