Child Custody in Illinois

HELPME2008 — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 02:54:08 GMT

Information I need is regarding child custody:

Does acts of violence on the victim determine child custody in favour of the victim and not the abuser?
Are you aware of any laws in Illinois that will help gain sole custody or favorable custody?
Any good lawyers that can help me?

I found out that Illinois is a No fault state.

Probably, you might have got a hint of my situation. But, I am explaining it to you so that you can understand better.

My marriage was arranged in India when I was still considerably young and I have only met my husband before a week of my marriage. I was a victim his anger issues and mental, verbal and sexual abuse. But, being naïve and from a family and culture that believes in enduring and change; I thought things can change for better and any marriage needs perseverance.

I have had a black eye, been beaten with slippers, hair pulled, pushed down, had bruises on my leg and bled internally apart from occasional kicks with leg on my back. After such happenings, I indicated my in laws of this situation immediately; but they blamed me saying that I should not argue. I could only tell these to my parents till I went to India for first time in Jan 2005 and became pregnant shortly after that. Things have never changed. He also mentally abuses me by threatening me and my parents and near family. He had the guts to hit me twice on many occasions not in front of people but still when his mother was present and my mom was present and his relations were present.

He sometimes shows indifference towards me and my family on my kid too and has very little patience with her pranks. His parents tried to convince me while I was in India for Snigdha’s first birthday in 2006 saying that all of these things are only happening because of my bad luck and misfortune that is cited in astrology and is according to my horoscope. However, his brother and sister in law reprimanded him to not manhandle me. During thanksgiving he hit me again with his Adidas sportwear that has projections on the bottom over my head and neck –just before my 2 year old daughter. The reason he citied for it that he saw an oil smear in the bathroom and called me names and was very angry. As I was afraid, I asked him to leave my room with a loud voice and he happened to hit me several times after taking offense to it. He has a very good social image with friends because of my silence and I think this violent behavior is directed towards me only.

Since these 51/2 years, I had my share of worries and was confused on what is a best thing to do. My parents came here and are in NJ to provide me moral support and help if needed it. I also tried counseling—he refused to come after first visit. I feel trapped between all the laws and because of the fact that my kid can suffer because of joint custody.

I have some doctor evidence of my eye bruise and doctor recording of my statement for my neck pain recently. I have never documented many acts of violence and abuse because I wasn’t thinking of divorce and thought they were bearable. Because of the fact that he had threatened to commit suicide and asked me to give him a chance to change in 2003 when I cried and threatened to leave; I never went to the doctor and never happened to tell this to my parents till Jan 2005. I have realized that nothing is going to change after repeated events and I am in a situation where I need to review and see what options I have and Are they in favour for my kid’s well being?

RE: Child Custody in Illinois

tre1129 — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 04:23:30 GMT

You must contact an attorney ASAP. Get out of this marriage with your child and don't look back. You can find an attorney through the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers' website at http://www.aaml.org/custom/directory/search.cfm. Good luck.