Help, please? My fiance is having these intense nightmares, and I don't know why...?!?

Lexi.I. — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 04:54:46 GMT

Ok, my fiance, Byron, is 26, and and I'm really worried about him... He's been having these intense nightmares, where he wakes up sweating, and I have to talk him down, and rub his back, or run my fingers through his hair, etc. to get him to fall back asleep. Usually, I'll wake up when he does, since I'm a light sleeper, but when I don't, he'll get up and go sit in the kitchen and read or he'll go watch TV for a while. When I wake up and he's not there, I'll usually get up with him. I've tried to talk to him about what's going on... if anything is causing these nightmares, but he's so sweet, and he just says, "No, honey, It's fine. Don't worry about me, I'm fine," and he'll kiss me, and that's it. But I know there's obviously something causing his nightmares... they're so intense. When he wakes up, he's sweating, and out of breath, and wrapped up in the sheets. I just don't know what to do for him! I'm worried about him! What do I do? The only thing I can think of that would be stressing him out is that we just found out I'm pregnant, and it was completely unexpected... I don't think Byron was expecting to hear that we were having a baby this soon... But I don't know how this would cause these intense, frightening nightmares for him... Help, please?! What do I do??

RE: Help, please? My fiance is having these intense nightmares, and I don't know why...?!?

DB Lady — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 05:46:45 GMT

Hi,

Has your boyfriend been in the military? How old is he? Did he start having these nightmares after he learned that you are pregnant?

RE: Help, please? My fiance is having these intense nightmares, and I don't know why...?!?

ElijahJamall — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 06:45:56 GMT

Hello I have had the same problem for a number of years now. I suffer form Parasomnia, Parasomnias are disruptive sleep-related disorders that can occur during arousals from REM sleep or partial arousals from Non-REM sleep. Parasomnias include nightmares, night terrors, sleepwalking, confusional arousals and many others. I suffer from the four listed above. Not much is known about such disorders at the moment, but I find the stress dose aggravate the problem, but is not always the cause, sometimes, they just occur without reason. Your husband my not have it as badly as I do, but having nightmares frequently as an adult is a red flag. Has some traumatic event happened recently, because mine seemed to get worse after the death of my grandmother. I very much doubt that your pregnancy has much to do with it, unless your husband really doesn't want children, but perhaps his heighten emotional state could be contributing. It doesn't always have to be caused by an outside force or problem, mine just kind of showed up when I was about maybe 10 years old, and have seemed to get worse over time. You said you have to "Talk him down" my mother had to do the same thing with me, don't try to shake him out of it though, because with me that made it worse your gentle method is a good strategy. Dose he remember his episodes/dreams, because I rarely do. If he dose then that is a good sign, I was advised to write my nightmares down if I remember them but I never seem to. Have him write down any nightmares he remembers, it may find a method to the madness. But as I said not much is known about it, and what I know isn't solid fact just my experience. I think the TV Docters had an episode on this, you could Email, or call them for futher assistance.

Good luck.