URGENT : Does He Loves Me or Need Me Because He's Lonely ?

Ms. Clueless — Sun, 17 May 2009 19:26:36 GMT

Hi .. Im dating a guy who is working and studying in a different city. We knew each other for almost a year now, before he moved there. He lives alone and doesnt have friends there. Last week, when we had conversation over the phone, he told me that "I actually rely on you when I am in the city. It sucks to be alone in a new city". We dont always talked so much nowadays and I think that is normal since we had past the getting-to-know-you part. And he drives back to his parents house every weekend. And it seems we even talked less when he's at his parents house. Im feeling a little unease after hearing that since it makes me wonder if he only keeps the relationship because he's lonely in the city and Im the only one he can talk to and not because he loves me. Im not sure if Im over-reacting.

RE: URGENT : Does He Loves Me or Need Me Because He's Lonely ?

Buford b — Mon, 18 May 2009 01:07:58 GMT

Hello ms Clueless, you say you talk even less when he's at parents house? I assume you live near the parents? Either way, you have the uneasy feeling in your heart. Seems like he is a little "distant" whether he's home or in the city. Don't want to add to your problems, but are you sure he's alone all this time during the week? Can you talk to him or is he one of those guys that won't talk? After a year, I think you are entitled to a little info concerning his intentions. Ask him where we stand. Anything short of sitting down with you and talking calmly is a bad sign. You need to know. Sure he is busy but give it a shot. You need a little more from him and you should get it. Watch the reaction from him. Pissed off means bad news. I hope it works out. Write back and let me know, please.

RE: URGENT : Does He Loves Me or Need Me Because He's Lonely ?

DB Lady — Mon, 18 May 2009 04:04:30 GMT

Hi Ms. Clueless, I agree with Buford b, 1 thumb up. You need to speak with him and ask him about how he feels about you too. He is the only one who could enlighten you. Long distance relationship does not work for everyone. I do think you need to find someone who is living closer to you so you'll know exactly what's going on with their life. You just don't know if he's saying this to several different women. I hope you will find the answer from him. Take care.

RE: URGENT : Does He Loves Me or Need Me Because He's Lonely ?

Ms. Clueless — Mon, 18 May 2009 05:52:12 GMT

Ouch .. That hurts .. I didnt see that coming. I asked him ystdry if he loves me and he didnt give this answer right away. He paused and then said "yeah i do ...action speaks and holds more than words can... dont you think?" .. and I replied saying "yeah, ur rite" ..Then he asked if anything is wrong and I said nothing is wrong.. This is real downer since I am going to start school soon in another city and it is terrible to feel this way .. He told me that he likes to spend time with his family and I understand that but yes, it does feel like Im not his girlfriend ..

Thank you for answering my question, Buford b and DB Lady.

RE: URGENT : Does He Loves Me or Need Me Because He's Lonely ?

Buford b — Tue, 19 May 2009 01:52:49 GMT

Not exactly the response you hoped for. The pause sorta says something to me. Sounds like a nice guy that is trying to ease out of the relationship without hurting you. Life is not kind sometimes. He should be honest with you. Using his family as an excuse for his lack of time tells me that he probably likes you as a friend and not much more. Does not make him a bad person, but I think he's stringing you along. This would be a good time to part from him. You are starting a new school in the fall. Good step off point. Start fresh with someone new. Keep us posted on your progress!

RE: URGENT : Does He Loves Me or Need Me Because He's Lonely ?

Buford b — Tue, 19 May 2009 01:55:25 GMT

Right you are DB lady. Thanks, one for you as well

RE: URGENT : Does He Loves Me or Need Me Because He's Lonely ?

Ms. Clueless — Tue, 19 May 2009 07:21:21 GMT

Ive decided to end it one and for all. Better that Im hurt now than later. Im in no position to ask someone to love me. I can only hope someone voluntarily loves me and wants to be with me for who I am. Thank you for your advices Buford b. Thank you for helping me to put things in perspective. Sure I dont like being the feeling I am feeling right now but this too, will pass.

RE: URGENT : Does He Loves Me or Need Me Because He's Lonely ?

macymint — Tue, 19 May 2009 07:56:56 GMT

Its like that he toke you for granted, I think you should clarrify things between you and him. Talk to him and tell him what you feel and how you feel about what he's doing.