Mental Pain After Masturbation

Othlong — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:19:55 GMT

Ever since I broke up with my girlfriend, I have always felt a kind of mental (rather than physical) pain during masturbation. Immediately after I feel intense disgust, shame and guilt, although the thoughts do not last very long. However, I know these thoughts will inhibit any furthers relationships in the future, and I feel I cannot get close to women for fear that these thoughts will return, as they have before.

RE: Mental Pain After Masturbation

mom2344 — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:45:52 GMT

Have you ever given any thought to counseling? Breaking up with someone can leave deep scars and sometimes come back to haunt you, as you've mentioned. You deserve to be in a relationship that brings you love and happiness, so take care of yourself and maybe get some help!

You'll be okay!

Good luck!

RE: Mental Pain After Masturbation

Rob — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 20:01:35 GMT

I agree ... good advice from Mom, above.

No matter how much a lost love might hurt you emotionally, you have to get control of that pain/loss. It can take time, but you MUST work through it and go on in life.

I have heard of lost loves being painful to the heart; I've never heard of it causing heightened emotional stress follwoing masturbation. You said it makes you feel shame and disgust; makes me wonder if the reason is that you are using mental images or recollections of sex with her as your "turn on" and then you wish you had not after the climax. That, I could see happening. Most people use some kind of mental images or recollections or fantasies when masturbating; if that's where the problem comes in, you might want to create a new image or fantasy to use. With a little imagination you CAN create others that will work, and then you can be free of any need to keep using the X as your thought during masturbation. Otherwise, I think it is perfectly fine to think about an X lover if it turns you on and helps you to reach a climax and I am pretty sure it does NOT hurt anyone else when you do that (so there is NO need to feel shame or guilt over it).

Get counseling if you can't get this resolved within a few months after the date of the breakup.

Rob