Porn advice

werdz4u2c — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:03:48 GMT

why cant i stop being preocupied with wether or not my boyfriend looks at porn?he cherishes me and would never cheat...for some reason i am still hurt at the fact he looks at porn.its just magazines,not internet.and we have sex 3 times a day for over 6 months now.why am i so threatend? i dont want to make him resent me over this so i keep it to myself.i find myself wanting to "booby trap" the porn so i know for sure when he looks at it.so far i have done that once and im not proud.how can i get over this?guys,any advice?

i would like to add on to this.it is 8 months approx since i posted this.i have learned a lot about my problem.it is a compulsion.i dont condemn guys for looking,so no need to defend it. I know the problem is my own.so far how i have dealt with it is by becoming detached.i harbor my own vindictive thoughts,its sad,but at least i have found a way not to be consumed every waking moment.what bothered me the most was the lying.im not stupid,i dont like to be lied to for any reason.i have turned to getting my own attention.yes, i am now one of those girls that dresses up and knows you will think of me naked later.if you cant beat em join em!

RE: Porn advice

Elden — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:33:13 GMT

What is your fear of porn? Were you taught this is dirty and good men don't look at it? Do you fear your man thinks of other women? Well he does. Even if he never looked at porn when he has sex with you he can be thinking of another woman. Maybe when you have sex 3 times a day it with the girl at the cafe, or 7-11, or one he works with. A man can see a sexy woman dressed like he likes and get her image in his mind then jump your bones and nail you to the bed post, and all the time be thinking about the girl that got him turned on. Sometimes it can be an old GF. See porn is just something they look at because women look different and if he can see it then it might not be such a big deal and not spend a lot of time thinking about what she looks like. I might suggest you look at some porn and see what it is that bothers you rather than take someones word for it. I know women who love it and will share it with their men, watch it together and when it's open then no one needs to sneak around with it.

RE: Porn advice

InnerGold — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:29:08 GMT

Pornography is a deceptive view of intimacy. InnerGold is helping people world wide who are struggling with pornography and sexual addiction issues. There is good reason to be concerned about him watching porn. A lot of the people we are dealing with started by watching just a little here and there but it increased to the point that it is now affecting every aspect of their life and they are in treatment trying to get control of this issue.

Sex addiction causes great pain as seen on many newspapers, magazines and TV about their struggle. I am not saying he is going to become an addict. I am saying there are very, very few people that can watch porn and not turn to some sort of an addiction. Hence why people like David Duchovny and many others entering rehab.

Again, I think you have good reason to be concerned about the viewing of porn.

RE: Porn advice

coolfkndude — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 09:19:54 GMT

Hi! I'm probably 1 of a few guys that don't watch porn. Porn is pretty much useless in my opinion. If a man has a 'good woman' he definitely doesn't and shouldn't need porn. The fact that he does, I honestly believe shows something is lacking somewhere. You should talk with him about it, too. I'll be brutally honest, if you don't you will only continue to aggravate yourself and potentially 'harm' your relationship. little things tend to build and grow and can many times cause much harm to a couple. Be honest with him on how you feel. You will feel better and hopefully he will see your side of it too. The only good use of 'porn' may be 'softporn' if you both are there. Possibly, as a sex aid, or with foreplay. Hope this helps you!

RE: Porn advice

bonestructure — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 03:17:10 GMT

I enjoy porn. I do. And i don't have a twisted view of women or strange ideas about intimacy. In fact any of the women who know me would tell you I'm a really nice guy who genuinely cares about women. But look, while people can and do get addicted to porn, and it can interfere in their lives, that doesn't sound like the case with your boyfriend. He sounds to me like just a normal guy with a normal interest in looking at naked women. Yes, sometimes we do think about other women. But we also think about the women we're with. And I don't think you'd be having sex 3 times a day if he didn't find you beautiful and desirable. The porn is just pure physical stimulation. He knows he will never meet any of the women he's looking at. And evidently he's honest about his enjoyment of porn and hasn't tried to hide it from you. If he was doing that, then you would have something to worry about.