Queen of Clingyness

Jenner — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:48:35 GMT

*note do not lecture me on life and think im going to get pregnant, as well the whole reason I ask questions regarding social life is because I'm only academically strong,and not naive to most men's intentions, thanks

Alright here is my situation. I have been dating this guy for around a month and a half, and I really like him and I know he really likes me. However I feel as if I'm clinging on to him too much, because even though I have a career, getting my masters in Commerce, and juggling a troubling family life, I feel a strong need to text him and call him alot. ( Which i realize shouldn't be done)

So the question is, How do i develop a strong healthy relationship with this man? one in which I wont go crazy.:p

because i am crazy....CrazyJenner

RE: Queen of Clingyness

DB Lady — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 03:08:00 GMT

Since you're very smart, try to do the right thing. If that is really your picture, you're too attractive and well-educated to act desperate. A lot of times, men and women hate someone's clingyness. If you think you're crazy as in mental illness, I recommend for you to see a Psychiatrist. If you're just crazy in love, then I advise you to tone it down. Your behavior could be annoying. Of course, initially it could be cute, but that gets old towards the end.

RE: Queen of Clingyness

bonestructure — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:40:30 GMT

Some guys really like clingy women. But it's true, if pushed too far it can become really smothering, even for guys that like clingy women. You have to stop and realize that you have your own life and your own mind, and that a partner isn't the center of that life. I te4nd, for some reason, to attract women who are either bipolar or crazy, so I've had some experience with clingyness. You have to find your own center, your own interests and passions, and pursue those whether you're with someone or not. You have to build your own life, whether you're with someone or not. Contrary to the myth, guys don't really want women who make their lives all about them. They want a woman who has her own life and interests and can stand up for herself. Under those circumstances, a little clingyness is okay.

RE: Queen of Clingyness

zadriel — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 16:39:25 GMT

Simple. You like formulas huh? Here is a formula for relationships. Ready? Shared Experiences = Relationship. The more experiences you share with someone the stronger the relationship becomes. Texting I suppose "is" a form of this. But so is dating, and time together. Most guys primary need is recreational companionship. Which means for him, just hanging watching TV or doing whatever he does for fun. In highschool for me it was having my girl hang on the machine while I played pacman.

What I guess I'm saying is don't worry that you WANT to text. Just do it. But realize, that the more experiences you share with him the stronger the relationship will become. A good question is... does HE also try to share experiences with you. What happens in most relationships as we get busy... we fail to invest in those shared experiences and therefore the relationship weakens. Guys in their "hunter" motif can "aquire" the relationship and feel like all is well now... then they can slack off a bit. The goal is to talk about your needs if that happens. If the guy isn't interested in meeting those needs you'd be best to cut your losses and move on before YOU invest too much and find yourself unable to pull away.