Y dont i want sex anymore?

bindi 1 — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 09:57:31 GMT

This is my first time on this.

U m, im having alot of trouble, being sexual with my boyfriend.

We have been together for 5 years, and living together for nearly 2 years.

We have just bought our first home, and from the outside we would look like the perfect couple.

I used to be a very sexual person, my boyfriend and i wouldhave sex mayby 5-6 times a week.

i love him very much, i want to spend the rest of my life with him, but for the past 8 months i havent wanted sex. im not aroused im not interested in it as well, it breaks my heart that i dont want to have sex with my boyfriend, and i want hime to be happy, but i push him away all the time.

i still tell him i love hime every day we kiss allthe time it just the sex.'

i am under ALOT of stress at work, and i am trying to get a new job, as im suffering at work, would this affect my libedo ??

i just want to want to have sex .

help

RE: Y dont i want sex anymore?

DB Lady — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 10:50:28 GMT

Hi,

I hope your boyfriend understands that you're in a lot of stress at work, that you're trying to get another job, that you bought a house together so you probably have some financial pressure because you both have financial responsibilities together.

Couples who just met and/or don't have financial responsibities together naturally are not in a lot of stress to start with. The moment couples start living together, they finally get to know each other better and a lot of times , one or both see the real person and some of these knowledge are not that pleasant. So

because of this, the intimacy is no longer as intense as before and both or one of the couples tend to think that the honeymoon is over, that they don't have to try to please each other or that they don't have much time for each other due to the responsibilites that they face.

Sometimes, depression sets in because one of the parties is overwhelmed with a

lot of problems at home, work or with financial pressures or with one's profession.

You say that you love your boyfriend. If you truly love him, you have to find time to show your love by physical intimacy whether you feel like it or not. That's the measure of real love, doing things that pleases the other inspite of how one feels.

Eventually, when you see him happy, you'll eventually be happy knowing that you overcame the temptation not to show him you care, and also you showed him

your selflessness.

Please read the book of Dr. Laura Schlessinger, she is a marriage counsellor and a Psychotherapist . She has helped a lot of couples who are experiencing the same. Her website is : drlaura.com. The title of the book is The Proper Feeding of

Husbands.

Take care and please do your best to make him happy. That way , you'll be happy too.

RE: Y dont i want sex anymore?

Kenneth — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 16:56:37 GMT

First things first DB Lady. You have to be happy within yourself. Meaning. If what yo are doing at work is causing you to be unhappy, you need to find something that will make you smile and laugh about how you make your living. Sexual intimacy is all about being happy with yourself. The happier you are, the more you'll want to do things that will make others happy with you. Tell your boyfriend how you feel.

RE: Y dont i want sex anymore?

Crisologo — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 22:15:32 GMT

Hi bindi 1,

I'm so glad you're active with your sex life previously, but later deteriorates as you continuously having sex.

Sex is good especially for newly couples. However, if used to the maximum, may cause intolerance or shall we say, lose of appetite.

My advice to you are the following...

Consult a marriage counsellor and tell your problems.
Before going into sex, relax, clear your mind with problems, and concentrate or focus yourself.
Don't bother yourself with any distraction.
Talk to your partner in a more romantic manner.
Don't rush, have yourself stimulated first before going into the actual sex.
Let your partner do the manipulation and tell where to touch from your body the most exciting parts to touch.
The last one, enjoy sex not abuse it, it's a gift from God.

Have an enjoyable sex life.

Cris

RE: Y dont i want sex anymore?

lavlav — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 12:23:38 GMT

You have received some excellent advice. The only thing I will add is seek professional help.

RE: Y dont i want sex anymore?

AnswerGirl — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 01:09:09 GMT

Hi There Bindi,

You know what it is not unusual when facing financial problems and stess to forget about sex... in fact it is not unusual to forget about sex for a number of reasons.... just being in a relationship for so long or putting on a little weight can make you feel unsexy...

However the worst thing you can do for your relationship is to stop having sex... as it is a hard thing to get back into...

Basically my advice is JUST DO IT!

1) Don't wait for him to initiate... the moment you want sex demand it... like it was your right...

2) You could try having sex every night for one week... many times you can kickstart your libido by simply doing it! Make time for sex!

3) You should try doing the things you USE to do before an encounter... many people become lazy in a relationship and forget that they use to spend time...put on frilly underwear... bathe... brush their teeth more... lip gloss...etc. prepare your self for sex...

4) Have a rule that you can't turn each other down for sex for a while... When you get turned down you lose confidence in yourself and you feel unsexy... and when one loses confidence they lose attractiveness to their partner as well and that perpetuates the problem even more...

I hope at least on thing here helps you!

BestVibes.ca

RE: Y dont i want sex anymore?

Sweet Pea — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 03:28:25 GMT

bindi 1 I say this we respect:"Could you be gay?"