What is wrong with me? I am the stupidest person ...

sammy x — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 07:52:01 GMT

What is wrong with me? I am the stupidest person in the world. I keep doing things that seem to make sense in my mind but they keep going wrong. After the whole flirting with a friend of my bfs best friend incident, a guy that used to like me ages ago has got back in contact and my bf found out about that and now our relationship is now in the balance. I thought it was ok to talk to this guy BUT make absolute clear I'm 110% commited to my bf and only want male friends nothing more. Was it wrong of me to talk to him even though I made it clear I didn't want anything other than friendship?We were just getting back to being ok after the first incident. Whats wrong with me?

RE: What is wrong with me? I am the stupidest person ...

DB Lady — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 10:20:22 GMT

Sammy, I see that you're only 23 years old. My advice to you is don't commit yourself to one guy. You need to explore the other possibilities, get advanced education, be a stable person financially and emotionally. Right now, I could tell that you have very low self-esteem on account of a man. Build up your confidence by trying to better yourself, don't beat yourself because of past mistakes. Love yourself and be kind to yourself. Nobody else will love you if you don't value yourself. Take care.

RE: What is wrong with me? I am the stupidest person ...

nomorepbreaks — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 19:53:53 GMT

sammy x,

Wanting to socialize with people besides having a bf does not make you stupid. People should have friends (male and female) and maintain those friendships even if they have a bf. If you have set boundaries with your friendships and as long as your friends are just that, your bf should not be jealous. If he is, then I would say he is insecure with himself and your feelings for him. It could also mean that he is a controlling person.

Some people are more social than others. You should let your bf socialize with some of your friends. He may not see them as a threat, if he got to know them a little better. It's also possible that you are not compatible socially with your bf (meaning, he is less social than you). You cannot change your bf and he cannot change you. Trying to manipulate who a person is, does not change who they are and is destructive to the relationship itself.

Always be true to who you are..........

Blessings,

~ nmpb ~

RE: What is wrong with me? I am the stupidest person ...

Nomlee — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 17:36:01 GMT

Befriending other people Sammy isn't a bad thing & least make you stupid.Self-confindence in this instance is the first step you should take. thus in everything you indulge in ask yourself is this worthwhile or beneficial if YES you don't have to feel stupid or bad about it for its the right thing for you, your life! Talking to him wasn't a bad thing. Why? - because you made it clear you wanted nothing more from the friendship other than being friends. If your man loves you he has to respect the fact that you also have male friends. He also i guess has female friends. everytime one befriends someone of the oppossite sex it doesn't mean a love relationship is to build up but i'm not saying its inevitable!so don't be scared to explore and live a bit more on tthe leisurely lane than that of uncertainty.