I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

kaya — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 08:38:30 GMT

I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship with a guy for 2 years ,who from day one was very committed to me,the very next month that we met he took me home to his mom and his friends and said that im the one he is going to marry. I was confirmed that i will be his wife and so we even went ahead and got physically involved with each other.Two weeks back his mom called me home and said that as per the astrologer our stars don't meet and hence her son cannot marry me. My guy rudely asked me to leave and said that his mom believed that i was unlucky for the house. The guy who would on every step say that he cannot live without me today even denies to talk properly to me. When i call him he speaks so rudely to me and denies to meet me at all and says he cannot go against his mothers wish. I am totally shattered and have lost all hope for living. i feel so rejected and worthless. I have quit my job and have given up on eating,i feel betrayed.I told him that my entire life was revolving around him and he needs to be a little patient with me and continue talking to me and meeting me till i find a job and stand on my feet again,but he refuses to and rudely wants to just get rid of me i fail to understand this human behavior,how can someone stop loving someone overnite? please help me.

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

Rosie — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 12:28:04 GMT

Kaya, count yourself lucky and don't fight so hard to renew this relationship. If you were to marry this fellow you would have two strikes against you, his mother and her astrology. So I would suggest that you call this momma's boy and his stargazing mother and say goodbye and thanks for warning me and saving me from a disasterous life.In other words, end your night of stars and go out into the sunlight where I hope you will soon find a healthier relationship.

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

Elden — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:03:25 GMT

You can't always spot a nut right off, but be glad you found out in time to make tracks. Don't give it another thought and close the door on these crazy people.

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

bonestructure — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 15:38:07 GMT

Well, you wouldn't want to marry a mama's boy anyway. And he obviously is one. That's not a good thing. He'll end up marrying someone just like his mother bu with sexual benefits. And probably be happy with that.

As for you, yes, it can be hard to move on. It took me years to get over the separation from my wife, whom I still love dealy. But we are still good friends. You have to move on. You deserve better than this little boy who still wants his mama's tit. Love is not something thaqt should make you hurt, but is something that should enhance your life. It takes some time, and some work to move on. It does. And as human beings, we tend to hold on to the pain and the drama because it makes us feel alive and makes us feel still connected. But you have to let go of that pain and drama. All it does is hurt you, believe me. I know this from long experience.

You cannot let your life revolve around someone else. Been there, done that. All it does is make you dependent on someone else. Your self esteem, your value, your worth, needs to come from you, not what someone else feels about you. Because, ultimately, you have to live with yourself and know you're working to be the best person you can be.

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

Dr. Dar — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 20:45:30 GMT

2 years is a long time to be in a relationship . I would count my blessings if I were you and move on to taking care of yourself and your life. No one should have so much power over you that you would quit your job and give up on your life. It is your choice to move on or give up. I suggest you make a powerful choice for yourself in getting control of your life again.

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

farmgal — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 21:04:36 GMT

Dear lady, YOU are precious and of GREAT value, having been created for a special purpose by God to be here- the very sick man and his heartless family are deceived by false beliefs without moral values that have caused you so much pain and broke you heart..I too, was once so lost and hurting, having a husband of 29 years leave me and tell people i needed 'mental' help to cover up his abusive nature and actions, and the financial mess he had created. My five children are yong adults who were only more hurt by my committment to stay and try to appease their father, who cheated on me repeatedly, and caused us so much grief. the police didn't believe me , but the Women's services and church did, and I am so much better now. I have a loving husband, and feel better about myself. You are the ONLY one like you- you have talents and strength that will get you through this time- PLEASE call your local women's center, ask the hospital for the number, or the police dept.- they will help you with food, groceries, a place to stay- please get away from that creep who doesn't deserve you!! GO to a Bible believing church- they will be able to help you too- a Baptist church, an Assemblies of God, a Cornerstone or 4-square church- even a Methodist or Advent Christian Church- they will at least point you in the right direction, and most offer counceling for free- you deserve the love and care of a group of believers for support- please know that i am answering because I feel the Lod wants me to tell you this, and know that he sees your suffering and loves you !!!!!

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

leo88 — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:53:50 GMT

I understand your pain, I too had been rejected in a relationship by someone who said those exact same words-that they couldn't live without me, that was until he met someone younger & more attractive. You MUST believe in yourself & your strengh. I don't know why this man is choosing to treat you this way but the fact is he has rejected you. Life is so precious & short you must not allow rejection to destroy you. This man is not what you need. You must begin to surround yourself with positive things like friends & family. I know you don't want to get up & face the day because of the pain but I promise, each day you get up & go without speaking or attempting to speak to this man, your life will start to become your own again-not his. Throw yourself into the things you love to do-the things you did before this relationship consumed you. Finding a job is the first step, make it your mission to find a job you love. As time goes by the pain will pass but you must not contact that man anymore if you do, you will only be prolonging the pain. Life is filled with so many wonderful things & if you find just a few of those things & focus on them you will get through this. You are strong & wonderful-every morning when you wake-start with those words to yourself. You will be surprised how fast this pain & hurt will become nothing but a memory. I hope this helps you. God Bless & Be Strong.

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

bungy — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:25:20 GMT

Kaya, You asked how someone can just stop loving another, the answer is that he never loved you, Not in the right way, and not like you deserve. If his momma said all that about the stars and what have you, And he Listened to that, I feel you are way better off without them. And it sucks that after 2 yrs he comes up with that. If you had married him and had babies, Believe me one day he would come home and tell you "Sorry Honey that stars aren't in your favor" What then? Imagine you have babies with this man, Your future is so amazingly bright without him, There is a level headed person out there, And he has your name on him. Take this time to look at yourself, Look how beautiful you are, and then think about children, Would you really want him in your life to raise a family, And if you don't have kids, He and his momma would come up with some other crazy thing like they think you were abducted by aliens and they would want you to go back to your own planet, Really think about how your future is bright, And it will stay that way, unless you go back to him, Then if you do beware!!!! Those aliens may come on down and pay you a visit. Please no you are worth more than that. Good Luck Susan bungysqk@aol.com

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

ablack — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:36:02 GMT

You can do ALL things through Christ Jesus who strenghtens you! I agree with everything all the others said. I would like to add some though, if you will. I think you dont have much self worth. I'm making this statement not to hurt your feelings, but to WAKE you! Never say you can not live without someone! Don't you know God is a jealous God! He dont want us putting nobody before him! He is the only one you cnat live without! Know and understand that you are worth more than what you are getting from this dude! I have no understanding of astrology, so I wont comment on that. I also think it is of no relevence. The only thing that is relevent is YOU! Stop telling yourself lies, like you cant live without him! Yes, you can! Leave those people alone, stop calling him, and start concentrating on yourself! Love God first, then yourself, and evrything else will fall into place! I promise! I just love me some me! It really doesnt matter who else dont love me, or likes me! Im really ALL I need! God too of course!! Time heals ALL wounds too.

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

IamQweenBee — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 23:14:19 GMT

Its not about his Mom. Its about what he wants to do and his Mom is helping him to do it.There is another reason he broke up with you, as it has nothing to do with you.

Its a blessing. Now, you can find someone else who is better suited for you.

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

Pretty — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 14:33:58 GMT

Kaya, I know that right now nothing anyone says can give you comfort from the hurt and betrayal you feel. It is so hard to be rejected and its just human nature that makes you want to hold on to this guy and "prove" to him you're worthy. But i think that deep down inside, you now truly know that this is not the guy for you. Not because of his mom, or anything you've done or even the astrologer...but because this guy has absolutely no respect for you anymore. It doesn't matter how good he was in the past or the promises he made. HE HAS NO RESPECT FOR YOU NOW. The way he didn't stand up for you to his mom, the way he asked you to leave, the rude way he speaks to you and his total disregard for your well being and feelings. I do know it feels unfair and like the end of the world now, but life isn't always fair. Things happen for you to live and learn from them and grow as a person. He did you a favor...what if you had married or worse yet, had kids with him and then his mom decided she no longer liked your hair color or something.. It would of be even harder to deal with than it is for you now. Kaya, it's not that he stopped loving you overnight...he doesn't respect you. Respect yourself and know your own worth. I wish you the best.

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

marilyn58 — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 17:17:21 GMT

what the heck???move on please.thats amamas boy,u dont need him in your life he is not worth it,easy said i know.you are alive u have a life move on.each day will get better,it takes time.is his mother going to run his life,forever?u dont need that.that women must not have a life to get involed with yours.i have five grown children,i never stick my nose into whats going on in there relationships,mind u i see alot but say nothing.i listen,thats it.good luck.

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

heavenboundcarol — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 07:44:25 GMT

Honey, you are really blessed that this happened before You married this man whom is controlled by his mom, whom is controlled by the devil...The Bible talks about astroligy being a tool of the devil...If you do not know Jesus as saviour and Lord, come to Him today and ask His forgiveness with a repented heart and ask Him to come into your heart and make you a new creation in Him...Then pray for a good hubby, He will send you a Godly man that will not play around with the devils tools !!! God bless ya !!!

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

Cheryl — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 01:08:57 GMT

First you have to love yourself. What good did it do for you to quit your job and stop eating? It changes nothing. Just makes YOU feel bad. I know it is easy for people to say let it go but you must. He is not the right man for you or he would have ignored his mother and stayed with you. Some woman have a death grip on there sons and strong beliefes that the sigh you were born under influances your happiness, take in point me and my last partner, he was a scoripo and I am a leo. a deadly match and after 3 years it came to blows and I left. I went so far as to leave the state. yes I loved him at first, but when he got around his mother everything changed and he used me left and right. Always put mother first and to this day she has possesion of most of my things. I lost most of my personal belongings and my home to her. Do you want to live like this? I would hope not. I bet you are a beautiful woman, forget this looser and go out there and find a MAN not a boy still stuck so tight to mommy's apron strings. I believe in family but In my opinion the woman in the mans life should come first then his mother, not the other way around. You will find a compatible mate you'll see.

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

karina — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 00:24:40 GMT

while you had a good relationship @ one time. just let it go. he obviously doesn't really love you. you need to move on and find someone who will love you and stick beside you no matter what.

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

Kid — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 01:11:07 GMT

Kaya, i would like to know if you've made any progress, I'm sure others would like to know also.

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

funguy — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:58:22 GMT

Kaya, your man of two years is kooked more closely to his mother than he ever was to you. That should be obvious to you now that he has rejected you because mommy said he should do so. That is the fact! Now look at yourself. You are in a mess. Mommy must be very pleased with you. It supports her theory that you are not right for her wonderful son. Now the question is, what are you going to do about it all? I understand you are hurt deeply. You truly thought you had found your true life-long love partner. He is too weak to go against mommy so it is not likely that you are going to get him back. Sorry to give you such bad news. He doesn't have any guts or he would have stood up to her before and went on with you. Your heart cries out for him, but your mind know he isn't worth waisting your time and throwing your life away for hm. You must start to think. You are in an emotional state from which you must get out. You can't go on not eating. Sure you feel betrayed; that's because you were betrayed. Now you must accept the reality of that situation and move on. You must act as an adult and not like the little chicken your man proved to be. Start thinking, he is gone, you must take care of yourself and make the necessary adjustments as any normal adult would do. Yes it is hard to do; but life isn't always easy. Find someone to talk to,a good friend for starters, seek out a good counselor; best if you can find one who is trained to counsel so they can help you understand your feelings and get them out in the open and vent them. Then you can begin to plan your future. You will be surprised how many good guys there are out there. Never give up. Your ex is not going to help you, so look otherwise. Get your mind off of him. Ask people where you can find a good counselor if you don't know. You do need help. It is hard to get over this all alone. It is a problem that many persons have come through before. You can make it also. Later you will wonder what you saw in him. Believe me, there is life after momma's boy.

So get help to vent and understand your emotional state. That is very important. It will tie you up and hold you up. Emotions must be dealt with. There is s brighter tomorrow for you. Believe it and bring it to pass. God bless you my dear.

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

Letesha — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 15:13:54 GMT

sweetheart please don't call this man anymore don't try to figure him out. He might have wanted to break up and just used his mom to help him. He is not worth you putting yourself through this, get your job back that is a source of independence for you. its nothing wrong with loving someone but we can't lose ourselves in the process. we have to love ourselves enough to know when its time to move on it will hurt but i believe there exist a wonderful man out there for you who will love and respect you like you deserve how will you ever meet him if you keep hanging around this person who does nothing but make you miserable. you will meet someone else. there are too many fish in the sea.

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

Angel — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 00:59:32 GMT

Well, I'm going to be BLUNT! and TO THE POINT.....First of all, perhaps his MOTHER could answer that question. It appears he has not grown up yet, if he still relies on Mom to dictate his life with regard to relationships.

Ask yourself this! Would you have really been happy with a manboy, if relied on his Mom's interpretation of the stars, to determine if you were the right one for him? Where would it end? If you were married, tonight she may call and say it isn't in the stars to be intimate tonight!

Come on. You can do much better than this. Be glad they did you a favor, and move on. Maybe because you have done nothing to deserve such callous treatment you feel so hurt. But girl, let me tell you. One day you'll look back on this and ask yourself what was I doing. Get yourself together, don't let them take your power away. So what they don't want you around. Get over it yourself and GROW UP!!!

By the way, there are many men out there who would not have to go to momma for her approval. Don't call him anymore. If you do, just tell him how happy you are that you did not marry him or get any further involved with him, he and mom saved you from a life of pain.

Get out with your friends, party, laugh, dance and sing "DING SONG THE WITCH IS DEAD".

The Best of Luck.

ANGEL*********

RE: I just cannot move on? I was in a relationship ...

glitterfaerie11 — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 20:38:45 GMT

Don't make the mothers premanitions come true by failing miserably in life because this mother and her son say you are bad luck. Prove them wrong by not tripping and falling all over their words, but standing tall and proving to them you are better than their wrongful words, let them see in a year or so what they've missed out on...one day you'll walk right by that boy with another handsome successful man on your arm and he's going to go crying to his mother that he missed out because of her...Stand tall be strong, don't fall apart. By falling apart you prove them right.