The illusive female orgasm

tree — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 06:39:08 GMT

Hello,

I've never experienced an orgasm. I've tried sexual experimentation, masturbation, and am quite comfortable and relaxed about sex. I still enjoy sex a lot and it's never worried me too much - I'm quite patient - but recently it's started to cause problems in my relationship. My partner feels like he's "failing" and "leaving me unfulfilled" which, in turn, leaves me feeling damaged or broken in some way. While I've tried not to let it bother me too much, I've had over ten years of practice and think an orgasm would be a nice experience... even if it's one I enjoy on my own.

Any recommendations or advice about treatment, possible causes or where to go for professional help?

Thanks.

RE: The illusive female orgasm

Elden — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 14:29:11 GMT

Are you aware of what to expect? Do you know for sure you havent had one? I know that sounds stupid but I guess im trying to say what do you think a orgasm is? Just because you don't act like they do in movies when they have one. Sorry I don't think im much help to you maybe someone else will do better. I wish you luck.

RE: The illusive female orgasm

Undertaker — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 02:52:00 GMT

You need to take a evening where your sex drive is feeling very high..You can do this with yourself or You can talk to your guy about doing this .

Use either a sex toy or possibly use your fingers make sure you use lubrication, Concentrate on stimulating your clitoris, With your hand squeeze your vaginal lips slightly than release, With your hand squeeze your clitoris slowly and fastly but don't cumm, Massage your clitoris and flick your clitoris with your finger..With your fingers go inside your vaginal slowly with lubrication , While moving your legs vigourously back and forth.. Always remember to start and stop ..Go slightly fast and then slow down , Always remember when your about to cumm stop and don't let it happen..Also you want to tease yourself so you can feel good

If your doing this with your guy, Spread your legs eagle wide , Guys love when girls position their self looking sexy , Maybe wear some white thin panties and pull them to the side when your with your guy , Or even when your masturbating with youself ..

I think that you can have a , mind blowing orgasm But you got to do things that make you feel sexy about yourself..You also want your boyfriend (guy) to make you feel good..

Don't worry about Vaginal sex smells , Or even vaginal secretions (discharge) during sex.. If a guy can't except that , than you need a new guy who will work with you .. If you make a puddle in his bed Or you squirt all over him , He should feel happy and love you for that.. If none of this happens around him And just with yourself , It can be that you are afraid how the guy will act towards you ..Like relationships really need to work in this field ..Your guy needs to be able to help you out where , By making you be able to have mind-blowing orgasms Thats if he does in fact really love you

Best Wishes

RE: The illusive female orgasm

cobra0355 — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:42:33 GMT

I’ve listed some common factors that prevent orgasm. Then I’ll
discuss some strategies for overcoming them.
1) You don’t feel 100% comfortable with doing what works for you.

I’ve
totally been there! Especially when you first start dating someone, you don’t
want to make him or her your “guinea pig” for testing out methods and
positions. And you definitely don’t want to scare your partner away,
especially if you like the way things are going.
If this is the issue, you should focus on “private practice” for the time being.
Masturbate often and figure out what you like, so that when the time comes,
you’ll know exactly what pleases you. Don’t put extra pressure on yourself by
trying to perform before you’re ready – when the right time comes, you’ll
know.
2) You don’t know how to have an orgasm.

This is a problem that you’ll
need to resolve privately before you attempt to have an orgasm during sex. It
is VERY difficult to have an orgasm through intercourse alone for the first
time, so if you haven’t had one yet, again I urge you to work on your “private
practice.” And don’t hold back in regards to what turns you on. Erotic
stories, naked photos, pornographic videos, cybersex, and even romance
novels are not out of the question.
It can help to learn about your anatomy before you begin. Research the
clitoris, which is directly above your urethra and covered by the little flap of
skin that sticks out. (The G-spot is another way to achieve orgasm, but it is a
bit more complicated and elusive.) Use either a vibrator or your finger to
stroke it along the sides and bottom. Make sure you have some lubrication as
well.

3) You can’t get in the mood during sex.

Let’s face it; we love our
spouses/fiances/partners/hookup partners, but they don’t necessarily have
dream bodies. They have love handles, out of control pubic hair, or weird
moves in bed, but of course that doesn’t matter, because they’re such
amazing people.
However, the fact remains that it can be hard to maintain the sexual
attraction for them that we felt at the beginning of the relationship. And if
our sex drive isn’t as strong as theirs, we often end up in bed with them out
of a sense of…obligation. This is clearly not a good precursor to sex!
To get your mojo back, you need to realize that YOU are in control of your
psychological state in bed. You can choose to be turned on or not. And once
you decide to get in the mood, you can fantasize about anything you want to
get off. Construction workers, bondage, women, you name it!
4) None of the recommended positions and techniques work for you.

No
two women are the same, and so the same advice will not work for all of
them. It’s all about gaining as much information as you can and then
experimenting to see what works for you.
Don’t be afraid to think outside of the box when it comes to methods and
positions. Try standing and having your partner enter you from behind. Bend
over and then pleasure yourself with a finger or vibrator – or let your partner
do it, if you’re confident in his or her abilities. Get on top so that you can
control the movements and penetration levels.
Many women have reservations about experimenting because they’re afraid
their partners will get bored or irritated. I’ll tell you right now that this will
NEVER happen. As long as you’re naked and having sex with a man, he will
always be happy. He’s going to orgasm no matter what you do – many men
even prefer for sex to last a bit longer than usual. And if you’re having sex
with a woman, she will surely commiserate with your issues.
5) You can't figure out which techniques work in real life.
real life.
real life.
The great
majority of my sexual knowledge came from discussions with close female
friends, relatives, and even therapists. You’d be surprised to find out that
many women have the same problem as you – and the one’s who don’t are
more than willing to give you tips.
Of course, sometimes an inability to orgasm stems from deep-seated
psychological factors, including lack of self-esteem, prior or current abuse,
and depression or anxiety. If you’re feeling a bit “off” in other areas of your
life as well, seeing a therapist or counselor can bring those issues to light.