http://yedda.com/questions/psychology_350857361511484/?src=rss:qb:qbsMy ex husband and I have been trying to reconcile ...en-ushttp://static1.yeddacdn.com/images/Logo132X46_rmt9c1d22d.jpghttp://yedda.com/questions/psychology_350857361511484/?src=rss:qb:qbsMy ex husband and I have been trying to reconcile ...http://yedda.com/questions/psychology_350857361511484/?src=rss:qb:qbi<p>My ex husband and I have been trying to reconcile. I moved in with him and as soon as i did he expected me to behave and act as we had when we were married. because we are not, I told him I wasn't ready for all that. He than began again with his abusive verbal agruments that always end up with me being immature and selfish(according to him). He also always tells me that if I cant be the person he wants he'll find someone else, which causes trust issue's for me. So, I moved back to my apartment. Did I do the right thing? Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to jump right back into the way of life we used to have? He has a child fulltime that is not mine, but I have always treated her like she was. he says that if i dont do all the things he thinks I should with her then I dont love her or respect him. What do you think? I've delt with this for years and I'm starting to think that maybe there is something wrong with me. Please help me figure out why he acts this way and if I am my own problem.</p>GreatNessGreatNessfemale27questionMon, 17 Aug 2009 21:04:37 GMThttp://yedda.com/questions/psychology_350857361511484/?src=rss:qb:qbihttp://yedda.com/questions/psychology_350857361511484/learned_treated_way_allow_people_504122273479790?src=rss:qb:qbi<p>I have been there. What I have learned is that you are treated the way you allow people to treat you. He is scared of losing you so his mind tells him to make you think that no one else wants you so no matter how bad he treats you, you will stay.</p> <p>My advise is get some couple councelling. If he refuses, then the relationship is not worth keeping, cut him loose and move on. If he agrees, then a councellor will be able to help you both.</p>SheBoltSheBoltfemale40answer4.0Tue, 18 Aug 2009 01:20:34 GMThttp://yedda.com/questions/psychology_350857361511484/learned_treated_way_allow_people_504122273479790?src=rss:qb:qbihttp://yedda.com/questions/psychology_350857361511484/Greatness_nbsp_understand_youre_504139273854395?src=rss:qb:qbi<p>Greatness,</p> <p>    I understand what you're going through.  I had been in a situation like yours.</p> <p>I doubt that your relationship will be successful.  He only considers his own feelings</p> <p>and wants you to do the things he wants you to do.  In order for a relationship to work, there should be a give and take.</p> <p>    Please don't blame yopurself.  He is the one who is causing the problem.  Move on with your life and find someone who will  truly care for you.  If you stay with him, your life will be miserable.</p> <p>    Take care.</p> <p> </p> <p> </p>DB LadyDB Ladyfemale56answer3.0Sat, 05 Sep 2009 07:39:28 GMThttp://yedda.com/questions/psychology_350857361511484/Greatness_nbsp_understand_youre_504139273854395?src=rss:qb:qbi