What do you think of my mom and her remarks NO RUDE ANSWERS

voterperson — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 00:15:50 GMT

First let me give you the background. BACKGROUND: There are three parking lots tenants in my building pay for to park on a monthly basis, one of them is in the back where my mom and I alternate with our cars. There is a lady Ms. Warner who had a spot next to ours. About nine months ago before she was put in an institution for some type of mental disability (schizoid or something like that) she tried to run me over in her car. And then two days after trying to run me over she tried to crash her car into the lobby. The doorman and a few other people saw both incidents and they are both now on record. Then she was hospitalized and came out four months later fine - she was on medication to control her mental disorder. Then she started in again and a few days ago she tried to hit me but I ran back in and then she went on to the main street and acted in a menacing way. The cops chased her back to the building, took away her car and took her to the hospital.

My mom knows what she tried to do to me. Today when I spent the day with my mom we came back and I parked in the spot in the back. My mom said "Let me see if your car is in the line" I said "It does not matter any more Ms. Warner is not here to get upset, I mean she tried to hit me" Mom: "I dont want to talk about it, it upsets me she is sick" Well I got really upset and angry and I told my mom I hate my mom that she cares more about Ms. Warner then she does about me. Ms. Warner is an acquaintance

My mom and I had some fight. My mom of course said to me "Today you look like a butcher, your clothes are horrible, I wont wear clothes that someone could have aids, or other medical conditions". I ignored her. I know I dont look like a butcher and she carried on so up until five minutes ago.

When I went to make a cup of coffee she grabbed my mug, saying she wished she had an abortion when she became pregnant with me. She tried to choke me.

I hate her and I never want to speak to her again.

When I tried to call my sister on my cell phone (in my room) my mom grabbed my land line phone and tried to hit me with it, saying dont call your sister she has enough problems. Also my mom refused to get out of my room and she kept on fighting with me (all by herself - I kept ignoring her) saying the only reason she was in my room was to make sure I did not go and make myself a cup of coffee because she paid for the folgers instant coffee jars. Then as she kept fighting me (I was ignoring her) she started to cry nonstop saying she does not feel well. When we were out before the fight I told I her after we did a few chores I did not want to drive to the take out place to buy food because it was starting to rain hard and she said ok, BUT when she was screaming later on in my room I said to her that I was going to go out at 4PM she said well if you go out I am going to make sure you cannot come back in because you refused to take me to the take out place. When I said to her I am going to go out because I want a cup of coffee she made me pay a $1.00 a cup.

Oh she also said that if any thing happens to her that I dont have enough money to stay in this apartment. I finally told her to put a sock in it, that she is not going to scare me about where I am going to live.

I decided that I never ever want to speak to her again. I now know how she feels about me

RE: What do you think of my mom and her remarks NO RUDE ANSWERS

jkgrandma — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 03:33:36 GMT

Your mother needs to have a checkup to make sure that there are no underlying health issues which are causing her behavior.

Then you need to move out.

Until you do, I suggest you and your mother begin Family Counseling with a qualified mental health therapist.

The two of you need help learning how to communicate with each other. What you are doing and saying to each other is not acceptable and can be classified as abuse - on both your parts.

Please get help.

RE: What do you think of my mom and her remarks NO RUDE ANSWERS

Undertaker — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 18:31:09 GMT

I'm sorry but your mom , defintely needs serious help , She can't be taking her medications right or the medications are making her worse ..

You are there for her to take , her frustations out When are you going to open your eyes up to realize , When parents or any family member becomes abusive towards you in any way, It's time to call it quits..

Do you wanna make a life for yourself ? Go out with friends , Maybe have a partner or even someday get married and have kids? Your mom is controlling you cause your letting her do so..

Mentally ill people do know most of the time of what they are doing , I have a long history of mental illnesses and in the hospital stays and you don't see me acting that way..

What happens if you mom does seriously injure you and or maybe someone else close to you , Are you going to go and keep forgiving mom? You need to close the book on mom cause , She is a attention seeker too, Ask yourself is this what you want for the rest of your life , abuse from a mentally ill mother , Who really needs placed in a longterm care facililty where she would 24 /7 around the clock care?

Face the fact this your life , you see now what your life is now , Do you want to go on living a life of hell ,with a mother who has done these things to you in the past ?

If the abuse continues between you and your mother , How would you feel , If the abuse is place all on yourself , and courts find you guilty of abusing your mom?

I am saying all kinds of things can happen this day and age , Just when you think nothing will happen , You could be kidding yourself , Anthing could happen

RE: What do you think of my mom and her remarks NO RUDE ANSWERS

Skitch — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 20:55:59 GMT

I wish we knew how old you are. Is there any place you can go, like to your sister's or to a friend's house for a while? It doesn't sound as if you are safe there. Has your mother always acted that way, or is this something new since Mrs. Warner was taken away? Does your mother take any medications? Do you think that your mother might be seeking the attention that Ms. Warner got from her illness? You should tell your sister. You should tell someone with some authority. You should look for another place to live. I doubt if your mother is going to agree to see a doctor for this, so the only person you can really help in this situation is yourself. Look out for your needs. Find someone to talk to about this even if it means you have to go to social services. Please let us know what is going on with you, or we will worry.

RE: What do you think of my mom and her remarks NO RUDE ANSWERS

jkgrandma — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 21:01:25 GMT

Skitch, she's 50-some (around my age).

She and her mother desperately need professional intervention.

Voterperson has severe self esteem issues, or so it seems from her incessant posts about her clothes and such. And her mother may very well have some old-age related issues, such as dementia.

Both of them seem to have quite a few issues which need addressing, but those of us who have answered any number of voterperson's clothing-related questions have given up worrying.

You can't help someone who doesn't care to listen to good advice.

RE: What do you think of my mom and her remarks NO RUDE ANSWERS

URI93 — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 22:22:57 GMT

Skitch, I agree with JKGrandma. Her mom is 83. You can see all her posts by clicking on her name and total posts. Everyone here has suggested that she get some help, but she ignores our answers. This is the best answer we can give her. There is no way we can help her change her life since she won't move out on her own and won't get professional help. I feel sorry for her since she is ruining her life by her actions.

RE: What do you think of my mom and her remarks NO RUDE ANSWERS

kv — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 00:33:58 GMT

It sounds like you and your mom need some counseling together. Have you ever tried that? Also, you sound very young, are you? If so, counseling would help you two get along until you are able to get out on your own. Good Luck.

RE: What do you think of my mom and her remarks NO RUDE ANSWERS

funguy — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 20:53:31 GMT

Are you a young lady? Sounds like you might be. Your question was just posted one day ago. That is long enough for you to take some action to improve your situation. You have been given a lot of advice. Basically I think people are looking out for you and seeing you as a lady controlled by her mother; do you disagree?

I sounds to me like she is jerking you around quite a bit. Everthing you want to do she gets in your way. When finally yoy took enought control to say you were going to leave at four to go get a cup of coffey, he answer was to give in to you--she gives you a cup, but she charges you a dollar. She still feels in control. She kept you home and made you pay. You don't have a chance aroung her; she knows how to jerk your chain and you just light up like a bulb. Then she glows. The question is how long do you want to go on living this way? You sound mad, just not mad enough to get out. What will it take? Just look at all the answers to your question; they are all saying to you that you have taken enough and it is not time for you to make a change. Are you strong enough to do it? Have you talked to your sister? Have you talked to a counselor? A social worker? Even a Friend? YOU NEED HELP!!! Your mother is another subject.Many has commented about her. Tell her to get some help too, but don't wait on her. That might be the next trick--don't leave me-we can go for help together. You need to go help your self first. Please don't waist another day. Your life can be different; it can be good. You can enjoy each day and have friends and much joy. Take a chance on happiness.

RE: What do you think of my mom and her remarks NO RUDE ANSWERS

LadyDoc — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 11:31:39 GMT

I am not really sure what you are asking. Is this sort of interaction between you two the norm or the exception? Maybe you should try sitting down with your mother and telling her how you feel. In addition, you should ask yourself how this makes you feel. Obviously you are angry and hurt, but is there something deeper? For example does she stimulate feelings in you that you are a failure as a daughter? If you cannot sit down with mom, because she is resistant or becomes hurtful towards you when you do try to talk to her, you talking to an objective third party may help you cope with this. Despite what is going on with your mother, it is your reaction and pain that you have to deal with. Especially if she cannot listen to you or continues to berate you. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do the change her or make her behave in a way a loving mother should.